The anonymous question of the day is from an LDS member:
"Do you feel that it is ok for a man to brush off his sexual addiction by saying things like, "Well, all men do it." or "Guys just can't control themselves. If a guy hasn't had sex in a week he's just gotta get it out." ?"
A- Firstly, in the question you state that the person in question has a 'sexual addiction'. Let's go ahead and define that quickly.
Wikipedia says:
Addiction is the state of behavior outside the boundaries of social norms which reduces an individual's ability to function efficiently in general routine aspects of life or develop healthy relationships.
Sexual recovery institute says:
Sexual addiction is a persistent and escalating pattern or patterns of sexual behaviors acted out despite increasingly negative consequences to self or others.
So, basically, sexual addiction is when one's sexual behaviors are negatively impacting their life and they find that they cannot or will not quit those behaviors.
It is never okay for someone to "brush off" an addiction. If someone you know has a sexual addiction and is brushing it off, it is important that you find them the support that they need to overcome their addiction. I would expect them to make excuses or try to rationalize the behavior, it is a fairly common thing for all of us to do when faced with our failings, but it does not actually excuse or make rational the behavior.
I think that the response you are looking for, however, is for me to expose the fallacy in the argument that it is the nature of men to objectify women or to have a constant supply of sex, and that a man is helpless to resist any urges he might have in the area.
The answer to that seems obvious to me, and yet, I hear it all the time being touted as a real argument, from women as well as men. There are men who are faithful to their wives, there are men in committed monogamous relationships, there are men married to women who are paralyzed, men who are widowers and do not indulge in pornography, there are men who are homosexual and continue to live the church's standards, there are men who see the beauty in all that women are and do and who respect them and do not objectify them. So, it is not an inherent and irresistible attribute of being a man to use women, men, or themselves for sexual gratification or interaction.
Are we fed this lie through media, social networks, sexism in the workplace, casual humor, and even people we know and respect? Yes. Is it possible that some men believe that it is a part of their nature to be that way? Yes. However, when they believe this lie, they are denying themselves a part of their true divinity. We are fashioned after God, and I do not believe that he would create women to have periods of time during which sex is painful or impossible (after childbirth, sometimes during menstruation, UTI, etc.) and then create men so that they could never live without it. To find control over that part of themselves, which has sometimes been trained to the opposite of its divine purpose from a young age due to pornography and the other influences mentioned, is a pathway for a man to find closeness to his God, to his wife (where applicable), and to himself. Sex has a divine purpose and is joyful when shared in a mutual and loving way. Any other use of sex is simply not as God has prescribed for our use and to say otherwise is to deny some measure of your Heavenly parentage.
